The loss and my knight.

Brittani was my light. She really was I love all my kids of course. But with out Brittani I would have fallen apart.

It all started on October 18, 2006. My kids need to be up by 6 am to get on the bus at 6:30. Well its was Wed. and I woke up at 7 and boy was I ticked. I heard up got the kids dressed grabbed Britt and headed to school. You see Shane always called at 6 am to wake me and I got no call. Nothing at all. No matter how many times I called him I got no answer. I was not worried I was mad. I got the kids to school on time and was heading home.

I need to take Britt to Chambersburg for an appointment but since I really didn't have anything with me figured I would stop back over at the house to get the bag and bottles. I was only there for about 30 mins before there was a knock at the door. I hope no one reading this ever has that knock. It was a WM employee and the grim reaper.

They came to tell me the worst thing I could ever hear. Then man I share 3 kids with the guy I thought I would grow old with was now gone. They started saying things like accidents, Fog, and other terms i don't remember anymore. Then they said find someone close and get them here as soon as possible. Now I live like 30 mins from anyone at this point. Only person that came to my mind was my baby brother. You see in my family he was the one person I always thought would be there. But things change.

This day how ever he was there in 15 mins at that. I don't want to know how he made the trip in that short of time but he did. I left Britt with the neighbor. At this point people were already being told what had happened. They are only required to hold the press till they tell next of kin. I begin to make my calls telling everyone I could think of. I was always told you walk in a daze state of shock. Boy was that true.

I know tons of people came in and out of my house for the next few weeks. I can't tell you who or what they said but I can tell you I felt so alone. Even in a room full of people. Telling the kids was the hardest job. They were 8 , 6, and 1. That's it for today.

My blog and about me

This will be my first blog ever. I have always thought about blogging but was not sure who would actually care about what I have to say. That was until one of my friends asked why I never tell my story. So here goes.

My name is Tammi Martin-Pensinger. I was born on July 26th, 1978. In a small town in the middle of farms everywhere. I was born with the name Tammi Taylor. I had an older brother, mom and a dad. In 1986 do to an accident I loss my dad. I now become the child no one knows what to say to. Throw in the fact that my mom is pregnant with my little brother. Fast forward a few years and my mom gets remarried. With that I gain a step sister and step brother. Needless to say we were not exactly the picture perfect family. Then came their kid. I don't mean to sound like that. But you have his, hers, and now theirs.

To say my childhood was not perfect would be an understatement. I loss my dad at 8 From that point on I spent every day with one goal to keep my older brother from beating me and my little brother to death. How no one noticed I don't know Maybe they did and no one cared. I really don't know anymore.

In 12th grade I met the man that would be my husband. Shane Martin, He was everything to me. We both graduated in 1997. We had our 1st baby in 1998, a baby boy named Shane Jr. We tried for awhile after that but did not have another till my little girl Taylor came in 2001. Now we were done 1 boy 1 girl all done the perfect American family.

Then in 2005 we were shocked to find out i was again expecting. After being put on bed rest for most of my pregnancy i had a baby girl very early and she was placed in the NICU for sometime to get better. Brittani was my light. That is where I will stop today. I will be back though to tell you about losing my husband, my remarriage and being a step mom.